“It is especially unlikely to get negative feedback, because no one likes to provide it. So the manager might postpone that feedback into the future. But you don’t know about that. And you don’t act upon it. So you think everything is fine. But it isn’t. IT’S NOT!”
The first time I experienced real burnout, I didn’t see it coming. One day, everything seemed under control—deadlines were met, and projects were progressing. The next, I was overwhelmed by a tidal wave of unforeseen problems. I felt like I was constantly reacting, firefighting without a moment to breathe.
How did it happen? I wasn’t communicating enough, and neither were the people around me. I wasn’t inviting feedback early, and by the time issues surfaced, they had compounded into something unmanageable. Does this sound familiar?
The Problem: Fear and Avoidance of Feedback
Many developers tend to avoid feedback, especially negative feedback. We’re not alone. Managers often delay delivering challenging input because it’s uncomfortable. However, doing so denies us the opportunity to fix minor problems early.
Here’s the reality: when feedback is delayed, it snowballs. That one unresolved code issue turns into tech debt. One unspoken performance concern festers into a “critical conversation.” Before you know it, you’re blindsided, receiving a mountain of criticism all at once.
We need to change how we perceive feedback. It should not be feared but invited.
“If we invite feedback and say, ‘I’m totally fine with negative feedback because I want to improve,’ then it’s more likely we’ll actually get it.”
My Turning Point: Embracing Feedback
I learned this the hard way. After several moments of burnout and surprise feedback sessions, I consciously tried to change. I started asking for feedback regularly from peers, managers, and clients.
And I made it clear: “Tell me what’s not working. I’m here to learn, not to be praised.”
It felt very uncomfortable. I mean, REALLY uncomfortable.
At first, it felt uncomfortable, but I noticed something incredible over time. Problems that would have overwhelmed me before were now manageable. I could act early, adapt, and improve. Better yet, the people giving me feedback respected that I valued their input, strengthening our relationships.
This is the power of reciprocity. When someone helps you by giving feedback or advice, they feel invested in your success. Likewise, by offering constructive feedback to others, you foster trust and collaboration.
“Humans tend to like people they help. And the more you have these conversations, the more you create bonds and relationships crucial to staying in control of your life.”
The Solution: Build Relationships Through Continuous Feedback
In startups and tech teams, where uncertainty is the norm, you can’t afford to wait for formal performance reviews or quarterly retrospectives. You need a culture of continuous feedback.
Here’s how you can build that culture:
1. Invite feedback regularly. Don’t wait until someone offers it—actively seek it out.
2. Be open to criticism. Frame negative feedback as an opportunity for growth, not a personal attack.
3. Give feedback in return. Offering constructive input strengthens trust and reciprocity within your team.
4. Act early. Use feedback as a tool to prevent minor issues from becoming more significant problems.
This proactive approach doesn’t just reduce burnout; it also increases team performance, strengthens relationships, and improves product quality. It’s like catching a bug in development before it hits production, a minor fix now saves a massive headache later.
Key Takeaways
• Feedback prevents burnout. Continuous feedback keeps you in control, reducing the risk of compounding problems.
• Invite feedback. Actively ask for positive and negative feedback to avoid being blindsided by surprises.
• Strengthen relationships. Feedback fosters reciprocity, creating trust and collaboration within teams.
• Act early. Don’t wait for problems to escalate. Early action is your best defense against stress and burnout.
Final Thoughts
In today’s fast-paced tech world, feedback isn’t optional; it’s essential. You must invite and embrace input regularly to stay ahead, prevent burnout, and build strong, trusting relationships.
So, how do you handle feedback in your work? Are you actively seeking it or waiting for surprises to catch you off guard? Share your thoughts, I’d love to hear your experiences.
References & Resources:
• Maslach Burnout Inventory (MBI)
• Amy Edmondson on Psychological Safety
• Continuous Feedback in Agile
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