"We can only interact directly with around five people at the same time on average." – quote in the video
There was a time when I believed that expanding my team would solve all our problems. More people, more skills, more productivity—or so I thought. But reality taught me otherwise. As my team grew, something crucial started slipping away—my connection with my team. It wasn’t about adding more power; it was about losing the ability to connect effectively. This was my wake-up call.
The Problem with Large Teams
In theory, expanding a team makes sense. More people should mean more hands to solve problems and more brainpower to innovate. But there's an overlooked truth here—it's not about how many people are in a team; it's about how well you can connect with them. Humans aren’t wired to handle relationships with everyone all at once, especially not in meaningful ways.
Dunbar's Number tells us that we can only maintain stable social relationships with about 150 people. This isn’t about deep connection, just knowing who they are. When it comes to truly interacting meaningfully—understanding their needs, being there for them—that number shrinks drastically, down to five or maybe ten at most.
My Experience with Growing Teams
As my team grew past a certain point, I lost the closeness I once had. I couldn’t keep up with everyone. I couldn’t be there when they needed me, and they couldn’t reach me as easily. The issue wasn’t my desire or ability to help—it was simply that there were too many people and not enough of me to go around.
I realized that effective team leadership is about what you can manage as a human being. A team of five to fifteen people allows for true leadership, where you can be present, provide support, and build trust. Beyond that, the quality of interaction diminishes. It’s no wonder that larger teams often feel disconnected or chaotic because we’re pushing past our natural limits.
The Solution: Restructure for Connection
The answer wasn’t to reduce the number of people on my team but to reorganize into smaller, focused groups. Each sub-team had a clear purpose, and I could be accessible to them meaningfully. The goal wasn’t to cut resources but to create an environment where every person felt heard and supported.
This principle doesn’t only apply to people; it applies to our work as well. We need to ensure everything—from teams to technical systems to code functions—is broken down into manageable, human-sized pieces. Doing this creates room for genuine connection, which is the real engine of productivity and success.
Key Takeaways
Human Connection Limits: We can only maintain meaningful relationships with a small group. Keep teams small to foster genuine connections.
Optimal Team Size: Teams of five to fifteen people are ideal for effective leadership and connection. Beyond that, relationships suffer.
Structure for Manageability: Break down both teams and work into manageable parts. Scalability isn’t about being more extensive; it’s about what we can comfortably manage as humans.
Lead with Presence: Smaller teams allow leaders to be truly present and effective, providing support that fosters trust and growth.
We often think scaling means simply adding more people, services, and processes. But real success comes from keeping things at a scale that we can manage and allows us to be human.
Have you ever found yourself overwhelmed by a growing team? How did you adapt to maintain effectiveness and connection?
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